Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Can Do It Myself

"I Can Do It Myself."

These words were uttered in utmost seriousness from the pouty lips of a determined two year old, as I was preparing to give her a small dose of Ibuprofen. She wanted not only to drink the medicine out of the flimsy little measuring cup by herself, she also wanted to pour the medicine into the cup by herself. When I refused to allow her to dispense said pain killer (she is cutting two year molars) she got upset, and made a somewhat dramatic show of refusing the medicine altogether.

As I was talking to her and dealing with the "situation," thoughts were running through my mind (a dangerous place to venture) like:

"She doesn't understand the concept that too much of this medicine will hurt, or kill her." "Just like walking into the road, or handling a lawnmower, her little brain is unable to grasp the reality that control and maturity are a needed components for this task."

In the midst of these thoughts the Holy Spirit spoke to me and the following little dialogue ensued:

(HS) "You do the same thing to Me Jet."

(me) "I do?"

(HS) "Sure you do. Look how selfish, greedy, and angry, you can be at times. You say that you want My Kingdom and Glory to come, but in reality you mostly want it only for yourself.

(me) stunned/awkward silence

(HS) "Why would I allow you to dispense My goodness and glory when you won't even let me help you with your bitterness toward that brother who wronged you? Or allow Me to take that 'anger' you feel when someone cuts you off?"

(me) mumbling incoherent thoughts in my brain like:
"...but that brother was a mean son of..."
"...seriously Jet listen to the HS..."
"...but that driver almost killed me..."
"...really I think I'm a pretty good guy in..."
"...you know He's right so just submit to Him already..."

(HS) "My power and glory can be a deadly thing in the hands of an immature someone who 'wants to do it by himself.' If you cannot obey my simple commands, ie: love your neighbor as yourself, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, etc... Why would I entrust you with more important ones?"

(me) "hmmmm good point."

Needless to say, the thought that I MUST mature in Christ has been running through my head ever since. Lord help me to submit to the process and allow myself to be shaped into His image. I so desire that I would be able to reflect Your goodness to a lost and hopeless world.

"Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature." 1 Corinthians 14:20 (New King James Version)

"For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." Hebrews 5:12-14 (New King James Version)

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